Hey Fellow Golfer - 

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter.

This newsletter begins a two-part series examining the psychological phenomenon known as the upper-limit problem. 

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off)  the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me. 

It's a beautiful, partly cloudy morning with the perfect breeze brushing against your face. 

You look down at your scorecard, jotting down another four, and tally up your score for the front nine: a solid 41.

You're buzzing with excitement, feeling almost certain that today is the day you'll finally break 90.

But two hours later, as you reluctantly scribble a seven for the last hole, reality sets in:

You've carded a 49 on the back nine.

Total for the day? 

A frustrating 90.

Despite that strong start, breaking 90 remains just out of reach - again.

This scenario is a classic example of what's known in golf - and beyond - as the upper-limit problem. 

In today’s newsletter, you’ll learn what an upper-limit problem is and how this invisible barrier holds you back on and off the course. 

I’ll also help you uncover the origin of your upper-limit problem, providing the awareness you need to align effective action steps to get unstuck and experience an upper-limit breakthrough.

Let’s tee off!

Episode 25 of The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast provides more details about the upper-limit problem.

Click here to listen.

What Is An Upper-Limit Problem?

An upper-limit problem is a psychological phenomenon that describes the unconscious experience of feeling that there’s a (self-imposed) limit to how much money, success, or love you can achieve.

Or, for our focus, there’s a limit on how low of a round you can shoot.

Imagine your success and happiness as the temperature in your home and your internal beliefs and self-worth as the thermostat that controls it.

When your thermostat is set to a certain temperature, say 72 degrees, it maintains that comfort level. 

If the temperature rises above 72 degrees, the thermostat kicks on to cool things down and bring the temperature back to the set level. Conversely, if it gets too cold, the thermostat will heat things up to reach that same 72-degree mark.

In the context of the upper-limit problem, the thermostat represents your internal beliefs about how much success, happiness, and wealth you deserve. 

This setting is based on your past experiences, self-concept, and deep-seated fears.

When you achieve more success or happiness than your internal thermostat setting (72 degrees), you might unconsciously start to "cool things down" by engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors like procrastination, creating conflicts, or making mistakes. 

These actions bring your success and happiness back down to the level you’re comfortable with - your thermostat setting.

An Upper-Limit Problem on the Course

Circling back to the example shared in the introduction section, this is how the upper-limit problem may manifest on the golf course:

• You aspire to break 90 for the first time.

• You shoot a 41 on the front nine and begin to feel (overly) confident that today’s your day and breaking 90 is a given.

• You subtly begin to engage in a handful of sabotaging behaviors as you tee off on the back nine, which may look like:

  • Choosing the more aggressive approach or club off the tee

  • Skipping elements of your pre-shot routine

  • Not emotionally resetting between shots and after each hole

• One small mistake compounds into many, and suddenly, your scorecard is littered with a handful of double bogeys (and one triple); frustration grows, and mistakes are further compounded

Your upper-limit problem is rooted in fear of success (a lack of safety around success).

Let’s examine this in further detail. 

It’s Unsafe to Succeed

Humans are a tribal species. 

Centuries ago, your ancestor’s lives depended on being a part of a tribe. 

Anything that risked being kicked out of the tribe induced a deep-rooted sense of fear to serve as a red flag to stop the behavior immediately because the consequence of being ostracized from the tribe was death.

• If your tribe judged you for your behavior, the risk of being kicked out exponentially increases.

• If your tribe abandoned you, well, it’s likely a matter of days before you’re impending death.

• And, of course, if your tribe rejected you, you’re ultimately abandoned, and, well, death by starvation or saber-tooth tiger ensued…

Bleek times, I know.

As a result, you and I are biologically hardwired with three core fears, what I like to refer to as the Fear JAR.

1. Fear of Judgment.

2. Fear of Abandonment.

3. Fear of Rejection.

Each of these core fears is rooted in helping you survive.

Yes, these seem too primal, simple, and silly to be prevalent today.

But they are.

If you suddenly experience a breakthrough and achieve next-level success, your tribe is more likely to judge you, reject you, and ultimately abandon you. This could manifest in many ways in every aspect of your life. 

Let’s look at three common examples. 

The Upper-Limit Problem in Action

When an upper limit prevents you from reaching your next financial milestone, achieving your desired success, or finding the love you seek, it often reveals an incongruency rooted in safety.

Your subconscious mind’s primary objective is to keep you safe.

When you step outside your comfort zone, destructive mindset programs and accompanying sabotaging behaviors are deployed to bring you back to a place of predictability and safety.

Health and Weight Loss

You’re part of a tight-knit family that spends a lot of quality time together. 

Growing up, however, this quality time often revolved around dining out, picking up fast food, and eating in front of the TV. As a result, you and each family member have struggled with weight and consistently implementing healthy habits for as long as you can remember. 

Despite your desire to improve your health and lose weight, you’re stuck in a cycle - losing and regaining the same 20, 30, or even 50 pounds. Deep down, you're torn between wanting change and fearing that by succeeding, you'll distance yourself from the people who matter most to you.

Why?

You know that you need to cook more and dine out less to clean up your diet. You also know that you need to spend more time exercising. This desired change in behavior directly contradicts how you typically spend time with your family - each of whom is set in stone in their way of doing things.

This creates an underlying tension and fear that you’ll be judged or rejected by those you love the most. You’ve been teased when skipping Friday family dinners to stay in to hit the gym and cook your meals in the past.

A critical underlying reason you remain stuck in the pattern of losing and regaining weight is that your subconscious doesn’t feel safe losing weight and keeping it off because of the potential threat this poses to being ostracized by your tribe.

Money and Success

You were raised by a hardworking single mother who often worked two jobs to ensure the bills were paid and food was on the table. You witnessed how much your mother struggled financially and were also aware of her disdain for those who had money - she often referred to them as spoiled jerks.

In adulthood, your hard work and entrepreneurial spirit earned you one opportunity after the next to start making significant sums of money.

However, as your income grows, so does the tension you feel (or imagine you feel) between your mother and your relationship. Soon, she begins making backhanded comments that generalize and group you into the category of “spoiled, unappreciative, rich jerks.”

Two factors are at play here that begin to influence your playing small and taking your foot off the gas.

1. First, you don’t want to become the person you were raised and taught to resent - that’s unsafe. 

2. Second, there’s a threat to the relationship you have with your mother if you continue to make more money. This, too, is unsafe.

Despite knowing what it takes to achieve your goals, you hesitate, avoid hard work, and play small, thus remaining stuck. 

Golf and Peer Pressure

You have a solid group of golfing buddies, and with each of you hovering around a 15 handicap, every round is competitive and fun. 

After another year of insignificant improvement, however, you decide to take your commitment to the game to the next level by practicing more and hiring a mindset coach.

As your scores improve, your friends' teasing increases. Of course, this teasing is ultimately rooted in envy, frustration, and pressure, but it still stings. After a couple of months, it’s evident that you winning all the matches has created tension, anger, and disconnect amongst your buddies. 

There’s a real threat present - at least subconsciously - to being judged and eliminated from the group.

Despite investing more time, energy, and money into the game and reaping the results, you begin to dial back your level of commitment and focus. 

You begin regressing to past behaviors, beliefs, and mistakes on the course and ultimately find your handicap settle back closer to the group average. 

I’m on a mission to break 90 before November 13. Click here to listen to my exact blueprint to accomplish this goal.

Next-Level Success Requires an Identity Change

If your handicap is between six and nine, how does your life change if you begin working with a mindset coach and hypnotherapist and become a scratch golfer in the next six months?

Yes, plenty of excitement, pride, and joy are present when you accomplish such a feat, but there’s also plenty of pressure, responsibility, and change in expectations.

Don’t forget the newfound pressure you may feel (from yourself and others) to consistently score so low, too.

Your identity encompasses your habits, beliefs, and self-talk. When you achieve the next milestone of success, especially at a pace that doesn’t give your habits, beliefs, and self-talk time to catch up, a major incongruency is created.

The result is a stark regression to old patterns of thinking and behaving, which are aligned with past examples of performance. 

Why?

The new identity necessary to align with your desired result is foreign, novel, and scary. Your subconscious deems it unsafe and deploys several defense mechanisms to bring you back into a zone of comfort and predictability.

We see this play out in many areas of life.

• For example, my client Arthur, an eight handicap, shot a 71 (72) - a lifetime low that far exceeded expectations. He was invited to a member-guest event and also asked to play a few private courses with local club members who heard how he scored.
  
  He struggled to break 80 for the next few months and also performed poorly in these private outings. 

• Another example is my client Ryan, who earned an average of $300,000 per year in her business. Then, in 2022, she earned $1,200,000. This thrust her into the spotlight, created numerous new opportunities, and ultimately brought more eyeballs, attention, and pressure to replicate the year.
  
  She did $350,000 again in 2023.

Uncovering Your Upper-Limit Problem

When your subconscious believes it’s unsafe to achieve next-level success, it deploys a collection of sabotaging stories and behaviors, leaving you feeling stuck and unable to ascend to the next level. 

Common upper-limit problem experiences look like:

• Fear of success

• Fear of failure

• Fear of change

• Imposter syndrome

• Perfectionism

• Chronic people-pleasing

• Comfort zone stagnation

• Burnout and overwhelm

Can you relate?

These beliefs and behaviors are buried deep in your subconscious; thus, they require a deep-rooted solution.

Yes, affirmations, positive self-talk, and having a growth mindset are vital to getting unstuck, but they’re not enough.

The deep-rooted change you seek will result from the deep-rooted work you do to change your beliefs, defuse toxic emotions, and dismantle destructive mindset programs so that you embody a sense of worthiness and the capability to go after your biggest dreams.

This deep-rooted work involves several steps:

To begin dismantling the destructive mindset programs that hold you back from your potential, you must understand how this ceiling keeps you safe. 

This clarity will enable you to inject a potent dose of logic into the collection of irrational fears, beliefs, and behaviors keeping you stuck, which will help you let go. 

1. First, get clear on where you’re stuck.

2. Next, get clear on how you’re stuck.

3. Then, get clear on what this physically, emotionally, and mentally feels like.

4. After you have this information, you can begin to dig deeper.

5. How is this situation keeping you safe? Be clear, specific, and detailed here.

6. What fears, beliefs, stories, and behaviors are you routinely engaging in that are keeping you stuck?

7. When did you first encounter (or gain awareness) that you were stuck?

8. Who in your family, friend group, or environment is also experiencing the same pattern of stuckness?

***Notice where in your body a physical sensation arises as you begin this exercise, e.g., a heaviness in your shoulders, tightness in your chest, or knots in your stomach. This is outstanding awareness and also validation you’re on the right track.

Identify the Incongruency:

• Identify which aspect of the fear JAR influences feeling unsafe when attempting to achieve this goal.

• List the consequences you’ll experience when you achieve your goal.

Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs:

• Identify what you believe to be true about achieving your goal and the people you know who have achieved it.

• Question these beliefs - are they true?

• Replace them with empowering beliefs that reflect your true potential.

Defuse Toxic Emotions:

• Recognize and acknowledge the emotions tied to your limiting beliefs.

• Practice techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, hypnosis, or journaling to process and release these emotions.

Dismantle Destructive Mindset Programs:

• Understand the automatic patterns and triggers that lead to self-sabotage.

• Develop strategies to interrupt these patterns and respond differently.

Embody New Beliefs and Behaviors:

• Consistently practice new, empowering thoughts and actions.

• Surround yourself with supportive people who reinforce your new mindset.

By doing this deep-rooted work, you can cultivate a profound sense of safety, enabling you to pursue and achieve your biggest dreams. 

This process takes time, patience, and dedication, but the transformation it brings is invaluable.

As a Golf Hypnotherapist, I use hypnosis to help my clients reframe and release negative emotions associated with these challenging periods of childhood. 

In turn, they experience a massive boost in energy, clarity, and confidence, permeating every aspect of this business (and personal life).

Click here to schedule a free Mental Game Strategy session to learn how I can help you learn faster and shoot lower scores.

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

After reading today’s newsletter, go back and read it again. Then, as always, make the time to complete the exercise action steps I shared.

Question? Feel free to email me or connect with me on social to further discuss.

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.

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When you're ready, there are three ways I can help you:

1. Listen to The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast: Whether you’re an occasional amateur, a weekend regular, or a competitor seeking a tournament trophy or your pro card, this podcast will help you overcome the mental hazards of your mind to shoot more pars than bogeys. Start listening.
   

2. Overcome the Mental Hazards of Your Mind: How Hypnosis Can Help You Shoot Lower Scores: Whether you spend two or ten hours at the range each week, if you don’t learn to address and overcome your mind's mental and emotional hazards, you’ll remain stuck in the proverbial bunker of poor performance playing well short of your potential. Shoot More Pars.
   

3. 1-1 Mindset Coaching and Hypnotherapy for Golfers: I help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of their minds to shoot lower scores (and have more fun) using hypnosis. Book a free Golf Mental Game Strategy Call Today.