Hey Fellow Golfer -

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter.

P.S. This newsletter is dense; it’s intended to serve as a longstanding resource you refer back to often. If you want a PDF version, reply to this email and let me know.

A typical golf course provides an array of hazards on each hole.

Whether it be water, sand traps, or ever-narrowing out-of-bounds markers, the course is designed to challenge every ounce of skill you have.

And let’s be honest - we’ve both been in our fair share of bunkers and lost more balls in the water or woods than we care to admit.

But what if I told you that these omnipresent threats were the least of your worries when it comes to shooting more pars than bogeys?

What if I told you the true hazards you must learn to navigate reside in your mind?

I’m talking about both the emotional and mental hazards of your mind.

For the past two weeks, I have detailed the emotional and mental game of golf (you can catch up on both newsletters here and here). 

In this week’s newsletter, I’ll help you uncover the unconscious reactions that negatively affect your swing and ability to shoot more pars than bogeys.

These unconscious reactions, which I refer to as destructive mindset programs, begin to run on autopilot each time an emotional or mental trigger is detonated throughout your round.

Trust me when I say there’s no shortage of triggers in a single round of golf. 

Once we uncover the multitude of emotional and mental hazards in your mind and identify the potential triggers for these destructive behaviors, we’ll break down this unconscious, destructive pattern into its constituent parts so that you can begin to find ease in learning how to respond rather than react unconsciously.

Let’s tee off…

Destructive Mindset Programs in Action

It’s the third hole, and you’re coming off of back-to-back poor holes to start your round. 

You step up to the tee box and slice your drive into the trees again.

You immediately feel heat radiating across your forehead, and a wave of anger overwhelms you.

“F%&K! You idiot,” you whisper under your breath (or even yell aloud).

Walking toward the area where you last saw your ball, you feel the tension gradually building in your chest. 

Your mind is filled with nasty, unproductive talk, disbelief, and the acceptance that it will be a long day…

Fortunately, your ball kicked back in bounds, yet your body has residual tension as you line up to hit your next shot. 

You have difficulty slowing down to focus on the present moment.

You hook your iron into the sand trap near the green.

And the cycle repeats itself. 

Let’s break down what happened:

• Trigger: slice your tee shot

• Emotion: anger

• Word Choice: “F%&K! You idiot.”

• Thoughts: “This is so unfair. I can’t believe this.”

• Belief: “I always slice my driver. I never play well at this course.”

• Action: You’re tense and distracted playing your next shot and don’t execute your usual pre-shot routine.

• Result: You hit another bad shot.

Something triggered an unconscious downstream cascade of negative thinking and counterproductive behaviors in the blink of an eye.

This is one common example of what I call a Destructive Mindset Program.

There are countless hazards on the course that you already practice navigating regularly. 

I hope you’re becoming increasingly familiar with the evergrowing number of hazards of your mind that you must learn to navigate, too, if you want to shoot more pars than bogeys. 

If you’re serious about improving your game, you must begin to defuse these toxic emotions and dismantle their destructive mindset programs. 

The elements of this unconscious program that we’ll dismantle and discuss today include:

1. Triggers

2. Emotions

3. Word choice (and thoughts)

4. Beliefs

5. Behaviors

Before we begin to dismantle your destructive mindset programs, I want to leave you with this quote from psychologist Carl Jung:

At this time, you’re likely aware of how anger or envy may be plaguing your ability to play to your potential.

Yet, numerous other triggers and programs beneath conscious awareness are likely holding you back from shooting more pars than bogeys, too

I encourage you to keep an open mind as you review this newsletter. This will help you become more conscious of the emotional and mental hazards in your mind, thus allowing you to defuse and dismantle them for good. 

Types of Triggers on the Golf Course

“Every single day, you’re forced to traverse an emotional battlefield of unseen triggers, that when inevitably detonated, trigger an unconscious destructive mindset program keeping you stuck.”

Read that again.

Life demands you navigate an emotional battlefield rich in both seen and unseen triggers.

It's not a question of if you'll encounter these triggers but when. 

This truth extends to your experiences on the golf course, too.

Here, a trigger is defined as initiating an unconscious pattern - a chain reaction leading to self-sabotage. 

Uncovering and unlearning these Destructive Mindset Programs is challenging because triggers often go unnoticed. You may feel the outburst of frustration after a bad shot, but there's little time to unpack the emotions and events preceding it.

Triggers can be categorized into several buckets: environment, people, time, results, experiences, words, and deadlines. 

Here are a few golf-specific examples:

• Returning to the course where you first learned to play, surrounded by old friends.

• Feeling pressured by the foursome behind you.

• Dealing with slow play from the group ahead.

• Racing against the clock to finish the round.

• Comparing your performance to your playing partner's success.

• Making consistent mistakes like slicing drives or chunking wedges.

I want to share one key point about progress in identifying and defusing triggers: progress will not look like the removal or absence of triggers in your life upon completing this workbook.

As you continue to implement all that you learn in this newsletter, you can expect progress to look and feel like this:

• Improved awareness and identification of your triggers

• More patience responding to a detonated trigger

• An improved ability to respond versus react to said trigger

• An improved ability to defuse the trigger and diminish the emotional intensity

• A faster speed dismantling the destructive mindset program before the detonated emotion begins to permeate your words and behaviors 

It’s not black and white.

Stay patient, looking for even the smallest indicators of progress, and consistently giving yourself grace and compassion for your commitment to dismantling these destructive behaviors.

Hey - I know that if you’ve made it this far, you may feel like you’re drinking through a garden hose and trying to digest this all. You may find it helpful to listen to an episode of The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset that further discusses how destructive these outdated mindset programs are.

Click here to listen to episode number three.

What Causes Triggers?

Destructive mindset programs are rooted in the instinct to ensure your safety. 

Understanding this begins with recognizing what triggers these programs. Yes, even triggers serve the purpose of keeping you safe.

Consider that you're biologically wired to seek belonging, acceptance, and connection. 

This drive stems from our evolution as a community-centric species. 

Centuries ago, ostracism from the tribe meant peril, whether from starvation or predators like saber-toothed tigers. Over time, this drive for community became deeply ingrained in our DNA for survival.

Today, while ostracism doesn't equate to imminent death, research consistently highlights the negative impacts of isolation on our health - think back to the challenges many faced in 2020. 

Despite this, the underlying drive for community persists, influencing our behavior from a young age.

Your conscious and subconscious minds absorb cues from your environment, including verbal and nonverbal signals. These cues - body language, facial expressions, tonality, word choice, and energy - shape your assimilation into your surroundings' cultural norms and behaviors.

Emotions

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Sigmund Freud

Emotions are pre-programmed, unconscious reactions to circumstances, people, or environments.

All emotions are energy. 

The root of "emotion" is "energy in motion."

You feel your emotions physically (like anxiety in your chest) because this energy is in motion, vibrating at a certain frequency.

Think about the difference you experience when playing frustrated versus playing confident…

There's a big difference in your body, swing, and score.

Emotions are learned programs. You mimic how your parents and environment express emotions.

For instance, you may not have known Dad was angry as a five-year-old, but you could feel and sense it. You learned that when Dad was angry, he yelled and screamed. So, you learned this is the response when feeling angry. 

Sound familiar with how you react on the course after a bad shot?

I thought so.

Also, think about the emotions you felt as a child - sadness, shame, anger, envy, guilt, regret - but didn't know how to handle. 

These emotions became repressed or stuck.

These stuck emotions resurface when you reach a threshold of emotional accumulation. 

As Sigmund Freud said:

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."

Tension and tightness are the antithesis of the smooth, fluid swing you’ve spent hundreds of hours (and thousands of dollars) working on.

Yet, you’re playing a game rich in emotional triggers that have the potential to begin permeating your swing and facilitating a harsh, negative spiral.

Next, it’s time to learn how this emotional energy affects the words you use to speak to and about yourself…

Words, Thought, and How You Speak to (and About)  Yourself

“If you continue to underestimate the power of word choice on your mood, energy, well-being, and what you attract in life, you’ll continue to fall victim to poor word choices that reinforce what it is you are speaking into existence.”

There’s an inherent energy, magic, if you will, in your word choice.

It’s not a coincidence that the construction of words is referred to as “spell-ing.” 

They literally have the power and potential to cast a spell on your energy, actions, results, identity, and reality!

Words are the individual building blocks of your mental sentences - your thoughts. 

If some of the most spoken words used when speaking about or to yourself are filled with negativity and hate, do you think you’ll easily achieve your full potential?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. 

Do any of these sound familiar?

• “I always slice my driver.”

• “I’m such a shitty putter.”

• “I can never get up and down.”

• “I always crumble during tournaments.”

How are they serving you?

It’s estimated that you have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. 

Shockingly, about 80 percent of these thoughts are negative, and a staggering 90 percent are repetitive.

Remember, words are the building blocks of your mental sentences - your thoughts.

Being intentional in your word choice can positively influence how you think and speak to yourself and others.

While you can't directly control what you think (since it happens unconsciously), you can choose which thoughts to give attention, energy, and emotion to. Over time, these thoughts can solidify into beliefs.

Think of thoughts as small bursts of energy from your subconscious mind that pass through your conscious mind before dissipating into the universe. You can select which thoughts to entertain and which to let go.

Consider how your feelings, habits, and outcomes might change if you shifted the ratio of negative to positive thoughts. What if it became 70-30? Or even 60-40?

Harness the power of intention in your thoughts and words. You can consciously choose to speak and think differently despite your subconscious's default tendencies. 

This opportunity is invaluable - seize it!

Battling Beliefs That Produce More Bogeys

A belief is something that is accepted, considered to be true, or held as an opinion. 

I like to think of beliefs as thoughts that have received so much of your time, energy, and attention that they become increasingly immovable (rigid) with each passing moment. 

One reason beliefs form is to help conserve energy. 

Remember, your brain strives for efficiency. If it recognizes you keep giving the same thought, time, and energy, it will help make this process more efficient by ingraining it as a part of the lens through which you see the world.

Furthermore, your brain creates beliefs to keep you safe as you navigate our complex world. Beliefs help your brain better predict and expect elements of life to play out in your particular environment. 

Thus, life remains predictable and familiar, which is a recipe for safety.

Are you beginning to see how each element of your Destructive Mindset Program is rooted in a need to cultivate safety!?

Once a belief is formed, your brain is constantly looking for evidence to support it so that it can reinforce your unique view of the world. Once a belief has been constructed, your mind rationalizes it with explanations to justify the belief further.

For instance, if you believe you always crumble under tournament pressure, your mind will effortlessly bring all past memories of failing to perform to your potential top of mind…

Now, here’s where things take an interesting turn…

Your beliefs aren’t yours.

Approximately 95 percent of your beliefs are formed by age seven. 

You had little to no role in choosing your beliefs. 

They were impressed upon you based on your environment, elders, and entertainment sources, and you were merely a sponge soaking them up.

As a result, it’s helpful to begin untangling the web of beliefs you have by further categorizing them:

1. Beliefs about yourself.

2. Beliefs about others.

3. Beliefs about life.

The truth is that you’re not responsible for your set of beliefs.

But you are the only person who can do something about it. 

Your beliefs become the lenses through which you see the world. 

Although some beliefs, like it’s not okay to steal, continue to serve you well today, a handful of beliefs do not - these are known as limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs put boundaries and limitations on what you perceive to be reasonable behavior

Common limiting beliefs, which also become a collection of stories you tell yourself, include:

• "I'm just not good enough to play well today."

• "Every time I play this course, I mess up."

• "I can't recover from this bad start."

• "My swing is completely off today; there's no way to fix it."

• "I always choke under pressure."

• "I don't deserve to win or play well."

• "No matter how much I practice, I never improve."

• "I can't hit my driver straight."

• "Putting is my weakness, and I always miss short putts."

• "If I make one more mistake, my round is ruined."

Which of these have you been tangled up in lately?

On your path to unlocking your full potential, your goal is to uncover, understand, and unlearn the limiting beliefs holding you back. 

If your beliefs are fully formed by the age of seven, unlearning and letting go of them can seem daunting, even impossible. 

Fortunately, I’m here to remind you that it’s possible to let go of and unlearn the beliefs that are no longer serving you and to replace them with those that will. 

I use hypnosis to help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of their minds and shoot more pars than bogeys. Book a free Golf Mental Game Strategy Call Today.

Sabotaging Behaviors and Habits Holding You Back

Self-sabotage can be defined as deliberately getting in your own way despite knowing it’s counterproductive.

Self-sabotage is rooted in a collection of beliefs and stories you have about yourself. It’s the outcome and final expression of your Destructive Mindset Programs; it’s what you tangibly see, feel, and experience.  

I further classify self-sabotaging behaviors into two categories:

1. Capital “S” Sabotaging behaviors are the obvious behaviors you’re aware of that are sabotaging your success.

• Addiction, coping, and numbing behaviors 

• Procrastination and avoidance 

• Binge eating

• Overspending

• Gamlbing 

• Infidelity

On the golf course, this may look like throwing or smashing clubs, skipping your warm-up, rushing or avoiding your pre-shot routine, or ruminating on past shots.

2. Lowercase “s” sabotaging behaviors are the not-so-obvious, often overlooked behaviors you’re unaware of.

• Hitting the snooze button

• Tackling low-priority tasks first thing in the morning

• Skipping a warm-up or pre-shot routine

• Rushing through your pre-shot and post-shot routines

• Speaking unkindly to yourself

In a round of golf, this may include checking social media or email between shots, arguing with your spouse, child, or co-worker, taking phone calls, neglecting hydration and nutrition, or rushing throughout the round.

Behavior becomes a habit the more we do it.

Your collection of self-sabotaging behaviors has been executed so many times that they now often happen unconsciously without you recognizing what’s taking place before it’s too late. 

As I mentioned earlier, you tangibly see and experience the consequences of your sabotaging behaviors at a conscious level (remember that perception and awareness reside at the conscious level).

But this is the final outcome.

The cascade of events that facilitate this sabotaging behavior takes place under the surface, so to speak. This is problematic in many ways, but it also leaves you in a position where you continuously try to solve a deep-rooted issue with a surface-level solution.

This is why you remain stuck!

It’s like owning a garden and using a pair of scissors every day to neatly trim the weeds just above the surface rather than digging into the dirt and plucking the roots to rid the weeds for good.

You can’t change unless you change.

Change, at times, can be dirty and uncomfortable.

And it can also lead to more fulfillment, contentment, joy, and money than you ever thought possible. 

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

Honestly, this newsletter was dense.

Read it again.

Want a PDF to print? Send me an email, and I’ll share it with you.

This has the potential to be an incredibly powerful tool that transforms your golf game.

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer who struggles with emotional regulation.

Play well and have fun!

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back or drop a comment below to let me know.

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