Hey Fellow Golfer - 

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter.

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P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on the course and in your business, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me. 

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Here are a handful of commonly heard statements on the golf course.

• I always bogey this hole.

• I never birdie this hole.

• I can’t ever hit the fairway on this hole.

• I always hit it in the water.

• I’ll never break _____.

• I suck at putting.

Sound familiar?

The words you use to speak to and about yourself matter.

There’s no other way to put it.

If you continue to underestimate the power of word choice on your mood, energy, well-being, and what you attract in life, you’ll continue to fall victim to poor word choices that reinforce what you are speaking into existence.

In today’s newsletter, you’ll learn just how powerful the words you use to speak to and about yourself are. 

I’ll highlight their significant downstream effect on your beliefs and results and share several common word choice missteps you’re likely making so that you can quickly correct them to shoot lower scores on the course.

Let’s tee off!

Self-Talk Defined

Your self-talk encompasses two elements:

1. Word choice

2. Thoughts

Words are the individual building blocks of your mental sentences, otherwise known as your thoughts. 

• It’s estimated that you have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day.

• It’s also estimated that 80 percent of your thoughts are negative.

• And 90 percent of your thoughts are the same as yesterday.

It's worth mentioning again that your words serve as the building blocks of your thoughts and, ultimately, how you speak to and about yourself.

When you become more intentional in your word choice, you can positively influence how you think about and speak to (and about) yourself.

I’ll focus on your word choice in the remainder of this newsletter.

The Downstream Effect of Your Word Choice

There’s an inherent energy, or magic, in your word choice.

It’s not a coincidence that the construction of words is referred to as “spell-ing.” 

Words literally have the power and potential to cast a spell on your energy, actions, results, identity, and reality!

• Your self-talk is composed of the words you choose.

• Words are the individual building blocks of your mental sentences, otherwise known as your thoughts. 

• When a thought is given significant and repetitive time, energy, and emotion, it becomes elevated into a belief. 

• Your beliefs serve as the lens through which you view the world and serve as a filter for your decisions and actions. 

• The collection of your decisions and actions ultimately influences your results. 

And it’s worth noting that your results influence your identity and shape your reality…

Allow me to share an example of how this may look and sound on the course: I always hit it in the water.

• This sentence includes an absolute (more on this below) and carries a negative energy.

• When repeated repeatedly, it eventually becomes a belief, which your subconscious uses as a filter for what to focus on.

• Your thoughts and beliefs have created a negative tone and high tension in your body.

• You’re unprepared to swing well, and your subconscious is focused on making this belief true.

• The result: the ball goes in the water.

Again, your words matter. 

And, if you recall from our recent newsletter discussing the destructive mindset programs sabotaging your performance, words are one of the early catalysts for downstream sabotage. 

Before discussing common examples of sabotaging self-talk and effective actions to eliminate this habit, it’s important to understand how your subconscious interprets your word choice.

Two powerful truths about your subconscious govern the impact of your word choice include:

1. Your subconscious strives to make your thoughts real. 

2. Your subconscious cannot comprehend the word “no” (or subtle variations, such as don’t).

For instance, if you repeatedly say to yourself (or aloud), “Don’t (do not) hit it in the bunker.” where does your ball typically end up?

In the bunker.

Your subconscious cannot process the word “no,” so it hears “hit it in the bunker.” And, since your subconscious wants to make your thoughts real, where does the ball end up…

In the bunker. 

If you’re committed to shooting lower scores and playing to your potential on (and off) the golf course, you must choose your words wisely.

Avoid Speaking in Absolutes

When you speak in absolutes, you’re making a generalized declaration of permanence. 

Common examples of absolute word choices include:

• Always

• Never

• Can’t

• Must

• Every

• Except

• Only

• None

• All 

Consider these common examples in which you’re likely letting absolutes sneak their way into your thoughts. 

• I always bogey this hole.

• I never birdie this hole.

• I can’t ever hit the fairway on this hole.

• I must hit this fairway.

• I can reach every green except this one.

• I only ever double this hole.

When you speak in absolutes, you’re implying that this result - your current experience - is set in stone and will never change. 

And, as you just learned, you’re indirectly asking your subconscious to help this poor outcome happen.

Fortunately, not only will this newfound awareness of abstaining from using absolutes to speak about your game negatively help you to play better golf, but there are also a handful of additional word choice upgrade strategies you can employ to infuse positivity into your self-talk. 

Episode #21 of The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast details how to create your golf identity to play to your potential.

If you’re struggling to show up as a confident, decisive, and aggressive golfer, listen in to learn the exact blueprint I used to create my golf identity (and alter ego). 

Two Powerful Word Choice Upgrade Strategies

1. Infuse Excitement and Gratitude

Consider the following scenario:

• You dislike putting.

• You always three-putt.

• Short putts always lip out.

• You never sink a putt under 10 feet.

• Everybody you play with is a better putter than you.

Yet, there’s a round you care deeply about coming up in a couple of weeks. It may be a round where you hope to beat your old friends, a member-guest you wish to perform well in, or your club championship.

To play your best, you must address your putting between now and then.

I want you to read the following three sentences aloud - seriously.

Observe the difference in how you verbalize each.

• I have to practice putting after work today.

• I want to practice putting after work today.

• I get to practice putting after work today.

What did you notice?

Admittedly, this exercise and concept are best illustrated by listening to me read each sentence aloud, but here are the key points you should recognize.

• I have to practice putting after work today.

The word “have” implies a sense of obligation that lacks desire, fun, and excitement. It’s a chore, and you’re not looking forward to it.

• I want to practice putting after work today.

The word “want” infuses more positivity and a glimmer of excitement. It implies that you have a say - a level of control - in the matter.

• I get to practice putting after work today.

The word “get” implies excitement and a desire to practice putting; it also infuses a sense of gratitude about the opportunity ahead.

When you think about the list of tasks you often procrastinate on and the aspects of the game you least enjoy practicing, I wonder if you can begin to shift your word choice - and subsequently your energy and attitude - to describe the opportunity ahead as something you want or get to do.

Let’s look at how this applies to the course:

• I want to - or get to - get up and down (versus have to).

• I get to punch it out of the rough (versus have to).

• I get a chance to putt for par (versus I have to make this putt).

And how it applies off the course to support your goal of becoming a better golfer.

• I want to meal prep tonight.

• I want to go to the gym today.

• I get to practice chipping and putting tonight.

• I get to complete 15 minutes of stretching.

When your operational default is from a place of excitement, desire, and gratitude, and you feel you have some control, you’re far more likely to execute the task more efficiently and effectively than when you feel like it’s a chore you’re being forced to do.

2. The Power of the Word “Yet” 

One powerful, three-letter word has the potential to drastically shift your mindset.

It can help you move from victimhood, frustration, and hopelessness to excitement, hope, and empowerment.

That word is “yet.”

Observe what you feel and experience as you read the following three sentences. 

• My goal is to break 90 by November 13. I have not broken 90.

• I aim to average hitting 50% of fairways over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this.

• I aim to average 40% GIR over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this.

• I aim to average 30 putts (or less) over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this.

Consider the difference in your experience as you read the sentences again with the addition of the word yet.

• My goal is to break 90 by November 13. I have not broken 90 yet.

• I aim to average hitting 50% of fairways over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this yet.

• I aim to average 40% GIR over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this yet.

• I aim to average 30 putts (or less) over five rounds by November 13. I have not achieved this yet.

Adding one word immediately implies a sense of hope and future action. 

There’s a satisfaction and deep knowing that although the goal has yet to be achieved, I’m working at it and will achieve each soon enough. I’m on the right path. 

Whether you’re frustrated with your current rate of progress on a goal or where you’re at in your golf game (or romantic, professional, or financial life), adding the word yet can serve as a stark reminder that you’ll get there soon so long as you continue to take action.

As a Golf Hypnotherapist, I use hypnosis to dismantle the outdated mental programs keeping you stuck in a pattern of two steps forward and three steps backward. 

If you’re sick of feeling like you’re putting in the work yet not seeing the results, it’s likely a mindset problem, not a swing problem. 

Click here to schedule a free Mental Game Strategy session to learn how I can help you out of your own way and shoot lower scores.

Common Examples of Negative Self-Talk in Your Game

Below is a list of common defeating thoughts you may have experienced on the golf course and a specific word choice upgrade to change the attitude and energy of said thought.

In addition to the word choice upgrade, note how I infuse a positive reframe and logic into the statements. These are powerful strategies for defusing the toxicity and negativity of outdated self-talk patterns. 

• Old: "I'm never going to get better at this."

• Upgraded: “I’m not where I want to be yet. I’m committed to daily improvement.”

• Old: "I always mess up this shot."

• Upgraded: “This shot is challenging. I’m excited that I get to practice it on the range this week.

• Old: "I'll never be able to break 90/80."

• Upgraded: “I haven’t broken 90 yet. I get to continue working with my coach to improve my swing, mindset, and course-management strategy. 

• Old: "I always choke under pressure."

• Upgraded: “I’ve struggled to handle perceived pressure recently. I get to practice my go-to breathing practice and pre-round preparation to perform better in these situations.

3 Steps to Unhook Yourself from Sabotaging Self-Talk

A word you use to speak to or about yourself can disrupt your energy, mood, and well-being in the blink of an eye.

Rather than remaining stuck in a pattern of constantly being hooked into a downward spiral of defeat and sabotage, consider this five-step approach to unhook yourself.

1. Become aware: Awareness is curative and the first essential step to making change. Now that you recognize the detrimental effect your word choice has on your self-image, results, and game, you’ll find it much easier to begin catching yourself when you use one of the common negative words or phrases I mentioned.
   

2. Challenge the thought: Your subconscious has one priority: keep you safe. 80 percent of your thoughts are negative because your subconscious is constantly scanning your environment for perceived threats.
   
   Your subconscious is outdated and often irrational. To offset the potential negative impact it can have on your mood and well-being, infuse logic into the situation.
   
   For instance, if you catch yourself in a thought loop similar to, “I always double this hole,” the moment you catch yourself, begin to question and challenge that statement. Is it true? Have you always doubled it? Doubtful.
   

3. Redirect and upgrade: Rewrite and override that sentence with a positive word choice and reframe. For instance, once you challenge that thought, immediately say to yourself, “I’m excited to play this hole. I’m focused on hitting a straight shot with my _____ (club selection) from the tee box.

And, perhaps, most important, is when you catch yourself beginning to speak unkindly to yourself, observe this self-talk through a non-judgemental lens of curiosity.

Remember: like your collection of fears, beliefs, and behaviors, your self-talk is a learned behavior.

It can also be unlearned (which is where a mindset coach and hypnotherapist can prove invaluable in helping you achieve your potential on and off the course).

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

After reading today’s newsletter, I want you to prioritize increasing awareness of your word choice (on and off the course) for the next 72 hours.

• Keep a running list of the repeatedly spoken words and sentences to and about yourself on a sticky note, journal page, or in your notes app.

• Identify the common themes, word choices, and tone.

• Identify the triggering situations, e.g., shanking a shot, putting, conflict with your spouse, or a stressful moment at work.

• Work to remove any use of absolutes and to begin using the word “yet” as needed.

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.

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Thank you for reading.

When you're ready, there are three ways I can help you:

1. Listen to The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast: Whether you’re an occasional amateur, a weekend regular, or a competitor seeking a tournament trophy or your pro card, this podcast will help you overcome the mental hazards of your mind to shoot more pars than bogeys. Start listening.
   

2. Overcome the Mental Hazards of Your Mind: How Hypnosis Can Help You Shoot Lower Scores: Whether you spend two or ten hours at the range each week, if you don’t learn to address and overcome your mind's mental and emotional hazards, you’ll remain stuck in the proverbial bunker of poor performance playing well short of your potential. Shoot More Pars.
   

3. 1-1 Mindset Coaching and Hypnotherapy for Golfers: I help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of their minds to shoot lower scores (and have more fun) using hypnosis. Book a free Golf Mental Game Strategy Call Today.