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- When Anger Takes the Wheel
Hey Fellow Golfer -
Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?
Thank you.
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P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me.
You miss a short putt.
You chunk your approach.
You make the same mistake—again.
And suddenly, something erupts.
You slam your club.
You mutter an expletive.
Your body tenses, your vision narrows, and your energy spikes.
In that moment, you’re no longer in control of your game. Anger is.
But here’s the truth most golfers never realize: anger isn’t the enemy.
The way you’ve been taught to handle it is.
In today’s newsletter, I’m going to challenge everything you think you know about anger—and show you how to transform it into one of the most powerful mental tools in your arsenal.
In today’s newsletter, you’ll learn…
Why anger isn’t “bad”—and what actually gives it power
How your current response to anger was programmed years ago
The hidden cost of letting anger take the wheel on the course (and in life)
How to use anger as fuel instead of allowing it to sabotage you
Tangible tools to build awareness and remain in control, even in your most emotional moments
Let’s tee off!
The Truth About Anger
Anger is not a problem.
It’s an emotion—just like joy, sadness, fear, or excitement. And emotions, by definition, are neutral. They only become “good” or “bad” based on the meaning we’ve assigned to them.
Most of us have been taught that anger is destructive, immature, or something to be ashamed of. So we suppress it, ignore it, or let it build until it explodes (guilty).
But here’s what the latest neuroscience tells us: anger is energy.
It creates physiological arousal—elevated heart rate, faster breathing, narrowed attention. It prepares us for action. That energy can either be channeled or wasted.
Used wisely, anger sharpens your focus. It narrows your field of attention, activates your muscles, and gives you a surge of presence and clarity. Think about athletes who perform at their peak when they have “something to prove.”
Anger can fuel greatness.
But when it goes unacknowledged or unmanaged?
It hijacks the steering wheel—and drives you into the ditch.
When Anger Takes the Wheel
Here’s what it looks like when anger drives your decisions on the course:
You three-putt and start rushing your routine to “make up for it”
You slice your drive OB and tighten up, swinging harder with tension
You let a missed opportunity fester, and it poisons your focus for the next 3 holes
When anger drives, you’re no longer responding—you’re reacting.
You’re no longer present—you’re possessed.
You’re playing emotionally, not strategically.
The same thing happens in business and at home:
You fire off a reactive email you later regret
You lash out at your spouse or kids over something unrelated
You abandon a sound strategy because you’re frustrated and chasing control
Unprocessed anger makes you impulsive. And impulse is the enemy of performance.
If you’re serious about taking your game to the next level - on and off the course - click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you plug your energy leaks and play to your potential.
The Anger-Shame-Guilt Loop
If you were taught that anger is “wrong” or “inappropriate,” you probably learned to bottle it up.
But suppressed anger doesn’t disappear.
It festers.
And when it inevitably spills out—whether in a passive-aggressive comment, a sarcastic jab, or an emotional overreaction—you don’t just feel angry anymore.
You feel ashamed that it came out.
You feel guilty that you lost control.
And now, you're not just dealing with the original emotion—you’re dealing with the emotional backlash, too.
This is how a toxic cycle forms:
You feel anger.
You suppress it.
It leaks out sideways.
You feel guilt and shame.
You vow to suppress it harder next time.
And the pattern repeats.
Over time, this pattern doesn’t just drain you emotionally—it chips away at your confidence and self-trust. It makes you question why you can’t “just keep it together.” And it keeps you stuck in emotional quicksand that’s quietly sabotaging your golf game, your leadership, and your relationships.
The antidote isn’t to suppress more.
It’s to understand where the emotion came from and learn how to meet it with presence—not punishment.
Anger Can Be Fuel (When You Stay in Control)
Anger isn’t always destructive.
It can actually become one of your best tools—when you learn to channel it.
Fast-forward to Happy Gilmore 2. Instead of losing control after watching his opponent smash a mile of a drive, Happy visualizes Hal’s face on the golf ball and uses that fire as fuel to stay locked in and crush his drive.
That’s the difference between emotional reaction and emotional channeling.
You’ve probably had a round where a frustrating front nine gave you just enough edge to stay focused and fired up on the back. You locked in, stopped overthinking, and played some of your best golf of the day.
That wasn’t a coincidence.
Anger has the power to heighten focus, create presence, and drive action.
But it only helps when you’re still the one behind the wheel.
Your Relationship and Experience with Anger is Learned
You weren’t born knowing how to suppress, express, or explode with anger.
You learned it—mostly by watching how the people closest to you handled their own.
If your dad yelled at the TV every time his team lost, you either learned to mimic that… or vowed to never raise your voice again.
If your mom stuffed everything down and never talked about it, you learned to do the same.
Some of you became yellers.
Others became bottlers.
Some of you flip the switch, go silent, and self-isolate.
None of this is random.
Your current relationship with anger was shaped by what you saw, what you felt, and what you were taught—explicitly or through unspoken modeling.
But here’s the good news:
What was learned can be unlearned.
(And hypnosis is a fast, effective strategy to unlearn the destructive patterns holding you back from achieving your potential)...
How to Catch Anger Before it Takes Over
If you want to change your relationship with anger, you have to notice it sooner.
Anger starts in the body long before it shows up in your behavior.
Here are some early signs it’s starting to take over:
Tightness in your chest or jaw
Shallow or rapid breathing
A warm flush in your face or neck
A spike in your heart rate
The urge to rush, prove, or “fix” something fast
Next time you feel anger rise, take a pause—and ask yourself:
What triggered this?
What does this anger want me to protect or prove?
What story am I telling myself about what just happened?
Where did I learn to handle anger this way?
This kind of curiosity gives you a chance to respond with clarity, instead of react with regret.
Final Thought
The presence of anger isn’t the problem.
Letting it take over is.
When you stay in control, you use that anger as fuel. You play with clarity. You parent with patience. You lead with composure.
You don’t lose your cool. You decide what to do with the energy that shows up.
And when you train yourself to stay behind the wheel—on the course, in the boardroom, or at the dinner table—you create more consistency, more focus, and more respect (especially for yourself).
Anger isn’t going anywhere.
You can’t eliminate it.
But you can understand it.
You can rewire the beliefs and behaviors that currently shape how you deal with it. You can learn to sit with it, question it, and choose to use it—not be used by it. That’s the kind of emotional control that leads to better rounds, better conversations, and better results.
If you’re ready to transform the way you deal with pressure, emotion, and performance—on and off the course—click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call.
You don’t need less anger.
You need more control.
Your Next Step
Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.
After reading today’s newsletter, I encourage you to set aside 15 minutes to curiously reflect on your relationship and experience with anger. And, to aslo consider making a daily breathwork a part of your routine to help you better connect with and manage your emotions.
If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]
Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.
If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.
Until next time,
Paul
P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.
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