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- The Power of Word Choice
Hey Fellow Golfer -
Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?
Thank you.
You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter.
And be sure to catch up on this week’s podcast episode:
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me.
You’ve seen it happen—on the course, in the office, maybe even at home.
One word.
One reaction.
One careless sentence that changes the entire tone of the moment.
A single “You idiot” whispered under your breath after a chunked wedge.
A sharp “That’s not my fault” during a meeting.
A defensive “You always do this” mid-argument.
Words slip out, emotions flare, and suddenly what was small becomes massive.
You think words are harmless—just sounds, just expressions of frustration—but that’s a lie.
Words are energy. And energy creates reality.
Every word you speak—to yourself or others—either builds confidence, trust, and connection…or erodes it.
In this newsletter, you’ll learn…
How your daily self-talk literally programs your subconscious mind for success—or sabotage.
Why negative word patterns and reactive emotions destroy confidence, focus, and self-trust.
The difference between reacting and responding—and how that difference impacts your golf game, your business, and your relationships.
Practical strategies to master your words, control your emotions, and train your mind to respond with calm and confidence under pressure.
Let’s tee off!
The Power of Word Choice
The language you use doesn’t just describe your world—it programs it.
Your subconscious mind doesn’t analyze or interpret. It doesn’t recognize sarcasm or humor. It simply accepts what you say as truth.
When you mutter “I’m such an idiot” after a mistake, your subconscious doesn’t hear frustration—it hears instruction: “Be that.”
When you tell yourself, “I can’t make short putts,” or “I always fall apart under pressure,” your subconscious goes to work proving you right.
Repeat those words often enough, and they become part of who you believe you are.
Think about it: you’d never speak to your child, your spouse, or your best friend the way you speak to yourself after a bad shot or a tough day.
So why is it acceptable to speak to you that way?
Every time you do, you chip away at self-trust and confidence. You reinforce the exact emotional patterns that make you tense, impatient, or uncertain under pressure.
And this goes far beyond golf.
Words don’t just hurt feelings—they destroy lives.
Cyberbullying has made that painfully clear. People—many of them young—have taken their own lives, not from physical harm, but from words. Repeated, cruel, cutting words.
Let that sink in…
If words from strangers can extinguish someone’s will to live, imagine what your own words—spoken 60,000 times per day in your head—are doing to your confidence and peace of mind.
Your words are commands.
They shape emotion.
Emotion drives behavior.
Behavior determines results.
That means your words aren’t commentary—they’re creation.
(Click here for a more in-depth newsletter covering the power of word choice…)
Reacting Versus Responding
Every challenge—every missed putt, tense meeting, or heated conversation—presents a choice.
You can react or respond.
A reaction is emotional, impulsive, and automatic. It’s your brain’s fight-or-flight response trying to escape discomfort.
A response is intentional. It’s the conscious pause that allows your higher self—your awareness, your clarity—to take control.
That space between stimulus and choice is where your power lives.
On the Golf Course
You miss a three-footer.
Reacting: You slam your putter and mutter, “You always miss these.” Your pulse quickens, your muscles tighten, and your next drive finds the trees.
Responding: You exhale, step back, and think, “Alright, that one’s gone. Let’s reset and commit to the next shot.” You regain composure and preserve momentum.
One drains energy; the other protects it.
In Business
A team member misses a deadline.
Reacting: You fire off a frustrated message or raise your voice in the meeting. The room goes quiet, creativity evaporates, and trust takes a hit.
Responding: You take a few minutes, review what actually happened, and ask, “What broke in our system, and how can we fix it?”
Instead of fear, you build accountability.
Or when a deal collapses at the last minute:
Reacting: “Unbelievable—this always happens to me.”
Responding: “Interesting. What can I learn from this? Where did communication break down?”
Reaction fuels chaos. Response creates leadership.
In Marriage or Relationships
A partner says something that stings.
Reacting: “You never listen.”
Responding: “That hurt to hear. Can we slow down and talk through it?”
One builds walls.The other builds understanding.
Every time you choose to respond instead of react, you choose strength over ego.
If you’re serious about taking your game to the next level - on and off the course - click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you plug your energy leaks and play to your potential.
Why Responding Wins Everywhere
Responding isn’t passive—it’s power.
It’s emotional composure in motion.
It’s clarity under pressure.
It’s choosing the long game over the short fuse.
When you respond instead of react:
You remain calm and focused when things go wrong.
You keep your nervous system balanced and your decision-making sharp.
You align your actions with your goals instead of your emotions.
Responding wins everywhere.
The best golfers don’t react to bad bounces—they respond with focus.
The best entrepreneurs don’t react to setbacks—they respond with strategy.
The best partners don’t react to conflict—they respond with empathy.
And what ties all of this together is presence.
Responding demands presence.
It’s what separates the frustrated golfer from the composed competitor, the reactive boss from the trusted leader, the defensive spouse from the connected partner.
Click here to see what my clients are achieving and saying about working with me…
Why You React—and Why It’s Not Your Fault
Reacting isn’t weakness.
It’s wiring.
You learned to react long before you learned to respond.
At some point, your subconscious decided that reacting—through anger, defensiveness, frustration, or withdrawal—was the safest way to protect you from emotional pain.
That protective mechanism might have helped you survive stress or criticism years ago…but now it’s keeping you stuck.
The truth is, reacting is rarely about what’s happening in front of you. It’s your mind reliving something from the past.
On the Golf Course: When you chunk a wedge or miss an easy putt, your brain isn’t reacting to the shot—it’s reacting to the emotion attached to similar past mistakes.That familiar surge of anger or embarrassment is your subconscious trying to shield you from feeling “not enough.”
It’s why you tighten up, rush the next swing, and compound the mistake.
For Entrepreneurs and High Performers: When an employee disappoints you or a client pulls out, that flare of frustration or self-doubt isn’t just about the moment.
It’s an old program whispering, “You’re not in control,” or “You’re failing.”
It’s the same script that drives overworking, perfectionism, and burnout.
Your reactions are learned.
They’re practiced.
They’re rehearsed.
And because they’re learned, they can be unlearned.
Why Hypnosis Works
Hypnosis is the most direct and effective way to unlearn those reactive patterns.
It works by bypassing the critical, analytical part of your mind and communicating directly with the subconscious—the place where those protective programs live.
Through guided hypnosis, you can identify the original moments those emotional patterns were created, neutralize the emotional charge, and replace those old, reactive programs with calm, confident, present-focused responses.
For the golfer, that means staying calm after a bad shot instead of spiraling into anger or fear.
For the business owner, it means handling setbacks, rejection, or team mistakes with composure and clarity instead of frustration or panic.
For the parent or partner, it means listening before speaking, grounding before reacting, and leading conversations from connection, not control.
Hypnosis doesn’t make you someone else—it helps you remember who you were before fear and frustration took over.
It helps you access the same focus and flow you feel during your best rounds, business breakthroughs, and meaningful conversations—and anchor that state so it becomes your new normal.
Click the link below to listen to episode 67 of The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast:
If you’re serious about becoming the best version of yourself, you need to do the work to unlearn the toxic patterns of reaction keeping you stuck. Click here to apply for mindset and performance coaching with me.
How to Train Responsiveness
Pause Before You Speak or Swing.
Take one deliberate breath. That momentary pause is the difference between reacting out of emotion and responding with control.
Audit Your Language.
Notice the words you use daily. Replace absolutes like “always,” “never,” or “can’t” with constructive ones like “learning,” “improving,” and “figuring it out.”
Visualize Composure.
See yourself missing a shot and walking calmly to the next tee.
See yourself handling a setback at work with clarity and grace.
See yourself softening your tone when tension rises at home.
Every time you do, you’re teaching your subconscious that calm, clarity, and control are your new default states.
Final Thought
Your words aren’t random—they’re powerful.
They can build your confidence or bury it.
They can create connection or conflict.
They can lead to peace or chaos.
So before you speak—to yourself or anyone else—pause and ask:
“Am I reacting from fear or responding from strength?”
The answer to that question will determine how you play, how you lead, and how you live.
If you’re ready to rewire the subconscious patterns that fuel your reactions—on the course, in business, and in life—then click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call today.
Let’s make calm, clarity, and confidence your natural state—no matter the situation.
Your Next Step
Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.
After reading today’s newsletter, set a timer for 10 minutes and write down each of the challenging or frustrating experiences in which you reacted (emotionally) the past 30 days. Then, highlight and contrast the difference in outcome if you chose to slow down and respond instead…
If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]
Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.
If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.
Until next time,
Paul
P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.
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