Hey Fellow Golfer - 

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?

Thank you.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter. 

And be sure to catch up on this week’s podcast episodes:

1. #46 [Journey to Scratch] Unlocking the Next Level, Slower Swings, and Taking the Next Step in My Game

2. #47: [Inside the Mind] Melvin Beard: Get A (Better) Grip, Man Theory, and Becoming a Confident Golfer

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me. 

This past week, I had the chance to take a new, female golfer out for her first round.

So far, she’d taken a couple of lessons and was committed to hitting the range at least three times a week. We met during one of her regular range sessions, and after a few weeks of small talk, we noticed we were often there at the same time at least once a week.

As we got to know each other, she confided that she’d never played a round because she was terrified of the potential embarrassment and judgment she might face as a beginner on the course.

I reminded her that everyone starts somewhere and that the golfers I’d met and been paired with at this course were incredibly patient and encouraging - plus, I’d only recently moved beyond that beginner phase myself. I told her I’d be happy to take her out whenever she felt ready and reminded her that, honestly, she might never feel completely ready.

Don’t miss this key point: whatever your next goal - whether it’s playing from the blue tees, entering a tournament, or working with a coach - you may never feel entirely ready. 

That’s natural; stepping into discomfort is part of the journey.

Success lies outside your comfort zone.

Now, back to our round…

We played nine holes from the red tees. 

I enjoyed myself, played fairly well, and learned a tremendous amount by playing alongside a beginner. The experience was both humbling and eye-opening, and in the rest of this newsletter, I’ll share the reminders, observations, and lessons I took from those nine holes.

Let’s tee off!

Play Better With A Beginner’s Mindset

In Zen Buddhism, a beginner's mindset - known as "Shoshin" - is about embracing each moment on the golf course with openness and curiosity, free from judgments and expectations.

This mindset encourages you to engage with each swing and putt as if experiencing them for the first time. By cultivating this state of presence, you become more attuned to the subtleties of your game, allowing for deeper insights and a more fulfilling experience.

You also let go of expectations and free yourself up…

Approaching golf with a beginner’s mindset means seeing the game with fresh eyes, no matter how long you've played. It’s about releasing past experiences, letting go of preconceived notions, and being open to new techniques to elevate your performance.

Playing alongside someone initially afraid to step on the course was incredibly rewarding. It reminded me to set aside ego and expectations, show up with patience and positivity, and shift my focus to process over results.

Below, I’ll share six key lessons I took from this round.

As a Golf Hypnotherapist, I use hypnosis to unlearn and upgrade outdated, habitual ways of feeling, thinking, and behaving that are holding you back from your potential.

Click here to schedule a free Mental Game Strategy session to learn how I can help you make playing to your potential a habit. 

Different Tees, Same Game

Newsflash: Whether playing from the red tees or the tips, golf is still golf.

I’ll admit, part of me was excited about the idea of shooting a really low score from the red tees. And while I scored well, the game's essence didn’t change.

• I still had to drive, hit irons, chip, and putt effectively.

• I still had to practice solid course management.

• I still had to keep my ego in check, quiet my inner critic, and let go of unnecessary swing thoughts.

And I still had to ignore the urge to rush as the foursome behind us started closing in.

Sure, playing closer to the hole allowed for a few more aggressive lines on certain holes, but the main difference was just in club selection. 

Nothing more.

This experience was a great reminder as I recently moved back to the blue tees. I realized I was adding pressure to perform at a higher level, which led to overswinging and overly aggressive course management.

Reflecting on it now, the only real change on my home course is hitting more five, six, and seven irons, especially with par threes extending from an average of 145 yards from the white tees to about 185 yards from the blue.

Getting Back to Basics

So far, my playing partner had taken a few lessons, only practiced with her seven iron at the range (seriously), and never tried chipping or putting. 

Acknowledging I wasn’t a swing coach, I offered feedback and guidance when I saw an opportunity, especially around and on the greens.

This was invaluable for me (and, I hope, for her too). I had to pause to articulate my tips as simply and clearly as possible and be ready to answer her curious “why” to nearly everything I suggested.

I walked away from this round feeling like I’d deepened my own understanding of the drive, swing, chip, and putt.

Let Go of Expectations of Perfection

I once heard a prominent fitness coach describe a week of training like this:

If you work out five days a week, you’ll likely have one great session, one tough session, and three “meh” sessions.

There’s a strong parallel here with golf. Not every swing will be as smooth or successful as the ones you hit on the range or at home on your simulator.

Each round - and even each hole - will likely include a mix of great, so-so, and not-so-good shots.

• Celebrate the great ones. 

• Stay curious and don’t dwell on the bad ones. 

• Accept the so-so ones.

Save the diagnosing and troubleshooting for your next practice session - not during your round.

Playing Without Pressure

At first, I hesitated to suggest that my playing partner pick up her ball and hit it from my position.

On one hand, I didn’t know her well and didn’t want to deprive her of the full experience from tee box to green. But on the other, I knew it would eventually be necessary.

For the first four holes, though, she hit every single shot - even with a foursome catching up behind us. She seemed determined to play each shot, even if it only moved her ball 20 yards, and I respected her grit and commitment. Watching her refuse to give up was a powerful reminder of resilience, one I needed in that moment.

I’ll admit, I felt a slight tension in my chest as this unfolded.

Would the group behind us ask to play through? Would we get hit into?

I realized I was more concerned about her experience than my own. But none of those “worst-case scenarios” ever happened. 

There was no need to rush or worry.

This was a valuable reminder for me.

Early on in my golf journey - and still occasionally - I get too focused on what my playing partners think or on keeping up the pace for the group behind me.

But honestly, forget it.

F’em.

Not really… but, kind of.

Too often, I’ve let my mind drift to worst-case scenarios, fearing judgment and wanting to be liked. This drains the energy I need to stay focused and present, which leads to rushing my pre-shot routine and mishitting too often.

Can you relate?

Skipping the Scorecard to Score Low

I didn’t keep score during this round.

My goal was to focus on my tee shots and, more importantly, ensure she had a great experience.

Golf has always been one of my greatest teachers, and I wanted her to walk away with a positive impression, excited to play again, and maybe discover some life lessons in the game, too.

There was no need to write down her score.

In fact, I chose not to write down mine either, hoping to help her stay focused on the process rather than the results.

This approach freed me up.

Of course, I had a rough idea of my score as we played. And if memory serves, I finished with four pars, four bogeys, and one double.

Not too bad.

You Put Enough Pressure On Yourself

On the fifth hole, we caught up to the group ahead - a foursome of retirees who were enjoying a chat and a morning cigar (yes, before 8:30 AM - the good life!).

They invited us to play through, saying they were in no rush. I gladly accepted, but I could sense my playing partner wasn’t thrilled about hitting in front of four strangers. 

She admitted she was worried about embarrassing herself.

To ease her nerves, I hit first - a nice shot landing on the green's far left side.

She then hit her ball about 25 yards, low and straight. The foursome encouraged her with kindness and even invited her to take another shot, but she chose to move on and joined me on the green.

Experiencing this group’s patience and kindness was refreshing, and it reminded me of an important truth: aside from your own group or derelict friends, no one really cares how well you play or score. They’re wrapped up in their own fears and struggles, trying to enjoy their game just like you.

This isn’t to say improving and playing to your potential doesn’t matter - quite the opposite.

It’s a reminder that you already put enough pressure on yourself to play well. There’s no need to add to it with false assumptions about what others think.

Ready to harness the power of your mind and the heavily research-backed strategy of visualization to play your best round of golf?

Click here to download My “play your best round” hypnosis audio recording.

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

After reading today’s newsletter, I invite you to approach your next round through the lens of being a beginner. 

What elements of the game can you simplify or subtract?

How can you make the swing, game, and round feel easier - as if you were talking to and playing with a beginner? 

Put this into action and report back to let me know how it goes. 

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.

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