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The Caddie in Your Head Is Costing You Strokes—and Success
How your internal caddie shapes trust, commitment, and outcomes long before impact
Paul Salter
January 30, 2026
Hey Fellow Golfer -
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Thank you.
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***
You’ve stood there before…
Middle of the fairway.
Perfect number.
Nothing but green in front of you.
And yet… something feels off.
You rush the routine.
Your mind drifts to outcome instead of execution.
Your swing is tentative instead of committed.
The shot isn’t terrible—but it’s not you.
And as you walk toward the green, the frustration creeps in. Not because you don’t know what to do—but because you do.
That moment has nothing to do with mechanics.
It’s a conversation problem.
Last week, while playing a casual round, I was paired with a stranger. By the third hole, it became impossible to ignore what was happening—not in his swing, but in his self-talk.
Out loud.
Relentless.
Brutal.
Toxic.
(listen to episode 131 of the podcast to hear the exact things he was saying…)
And the longer I listened, the clearer something became: Most people aren’t being held back by a lack of skill, discipline, or desire. They’re being held hostage by the voice in their head.
In this newsletter, you’ll learn:
Why your self-talk is the most influential coach you’ll ever have
How negative self-talk quietly sabotages performance, confidence, and enjoyment
Why “just think positive” doesn’t work—and what does
How this pattern shows up far beyond the golf course
Let’s tee off!
You Are Being Coached—Whether You Like It or Not
Every single one of us has a coach running commentary in our head.
The question isn’t whether that coach exists.
It’s whether he’s helping or hurting you.
Think about the difference between a great caddie and a terrible one.
A great caddie:
Keeps you calm under pressure
Helps you focus on the next shot
Reinforces commitment and clarity
A terrible caddie:
Brings up past mistakes
Questions your club choice mid-swing
Whispers doubt right before you pull the trigger
Now imagine paying that terrible caddie to walk with you for 18 holes—and then following his advice.
That’s exactly what negative self-talk is.
And here’s the part most people miss: You don’t “ignore” negative self-talk. You react to it.
When that voice gets louder:
Your body tightens
Your decisions speed up
Your patience disappears
That’s not a mental state where good golf—or good business decisions—happen.
Why “Just Be Positive” Backfires
When people finally recognize how destructive their inner dialogue has become, they often try to fix it by swinging to the opposite extreme.
“I’m great.”
“I’m the best.”
“I’ve got this.”
Sometimes affirmations help. I’m not anti-affirmation.
But if you’re coming from a place of deep-seated self-doubt, shame, or unworthiness, that sudden positivity creates incongruence.
Your words say one thing.
Your beliefs say another.
And that internal friction doesn’t create confidence—it creates irritation, impatience, and emotional volatility.
Negative self-talk isn’t random.
It’s rooted in beliefs.
Beliefs about:
Your worth
Your capability
Whether you deserve success
Those beliefs shape your self-talk.
Your self-talk shapes your thoughts.
Your thoughts drive action—or avoidance.
And over time, that becomes identity.
This is why self-talk is such a powerful diagnostic tool. It’s surface-level evidence of much deeper programming.
If you’re serious about taking your business and self to the next level, click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you achieve your potential and scale both your impact and income.
Negative self-talk doesn’t just cost you strokes.
It costs:
Energy
Presence
Enjoyment
Relationships
Longevity in the game
People don’t abandon goals because they’re incapable.
They quit because it’s exhausting to live inside a hostile mind.
I’ve worked with countless high performers who believe their harsh self-criticism is a strength—that it keeps them sharp, accountable, driven.
Maybe it did once.
For a season.
In a specific context.
But that fuel is chaotic.
And it does not sustain.
You don’t burn out because you care too much. You burn out because of how you talk to yourself while caring.
Notice This Pattern—On the Course and in Life
One of the most striking things I observed during that round was this:
The same person who verbally destroyed himself after every mistake was quick to praise everyone else.
Nice drive.
Great putt.
Beautiful swing.
But when he hit a good shot?
He couldn’t accept it.
“It was luck.”
“Members bounce.”
“Actually, it wasn’t that good.”
That inability to receive praise is not humility. It’s a worthiness issue.
And if you’re honest, you’ll see this pattern elsewhere:
In business, you discount wins and magnify mistakes
At home, you’re harder on yourself than anyone else
In life, success feels uncomfortable instead of satisfying
The way you speak to yourself determines how far you go—long before results show up.
You double-bogey holes before you tee off.
You lose deals before the conversation starts.
Or…
You make par before you swing.
You close before you act.
It all starts in your head.
Final Thought: Neutral, Not Positive
Your assignment isn’t to become endlessly optimistic.
It’s to become aware.
Begin noticing how you speak to yourself—without judgment.
Then ask:
Would I talk to my son this way?
Would I talk to a friend this way?
Where did I learn this voice?
From there, practice something radical:
Neutral self-talk.
“Good swing—let’s commit to the next one.”
“Stay here.”
“Focus on what you can control.”
That’s it.
Not hype.
Not self-abuse.
Just grounded, supportive direction.
Because the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
And the most influential coach you’ll ever listen to…is already talking.
If you’re serious about getting out of your own way, click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call and let’s talk about how we can build the golfer—and the man—you know you’re capable of becoming.
Your Next Step
Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.
After reading today’s newsletter, pay more attention to the conversation you’re having with yourself and strive to speak to yourself more productively.
If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]
After reading today’s newsletter, I want you to take the time to complete each step in my goal-setting process. Then, share it with me via email or on social media.
Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.
If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.
Until next time,
Paul
P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.
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