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- When Staying Safe Starts to Cost You Everything
Hey Fellow Golfer -
Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?
Thank you.
You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter.
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P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me.
Doug wasn’t in crisis.
He was in quiet chaos.
On the outside, he looked like a man who had it all under control.
He was working hard—more than 70 hours a week across two jobs.
He had a steady paycheck as a lead software engineer.
He was building a successful consulting business on the side.
He had a roof over his head, a family he loved, and a future that—at least on paper—looked stable.
But on the inside?
He was drowning.
Anxiety followed him into every room, into every Monday morning meeting, into every waking moment.
He woke up each morning with dread.
His stomach turned as he poured coffee and opened his calendar.
He sat in back-to-back Zoom calls, stifling frustration at a job that felt misaligned and toxic.
And though his side business was gaining traction, the idea of letting go of his steady W-2 paycheck felt like walking off a cliff without a parachute.
He was exhausted—mentally, emotionally, and physically.
And deeply afraid of making the wrong move.
The pressure was compounding.
Not only was he working nights and weekends to support his growing business, but he was also carrying two mortgages. He and his wife had moved into a new home many months prior, yet, the process of selling the old one continued to drag on longer and longer.
Doug didn’t reach out because he wanted a better time management system or a financial model that would demonstrate the risk of leaving his W2 was worth it.
He reached out because he couldn’t keep doing this—not without losing himself in the process.
What he wanted was clarity.
What he craved was freedom.
What he needed was a reset—a way to step back, get his footing, and begin to trust himself again.
In today’s newsletter, you’ll learn…
What was truly keeping Doug stuck—and why he waited so long to act.
The invisible forces (fear, guilt, identity) that often paralyze high-performers.
The steps Doug took to get unstuck, both mentally and practically.
What Doug’s story reveals about the choices we face on the course—and in life.
Let’s tee off!
Stuck Between Security and Suffocation
When we first spoke, Doug told me that his anxiety hovered around an eight out of ten most days.
But what stood out even more than the number was what was behind it: the gnawing sense that he was trapped.
Trapped in a job that drained his energy.
Trapped by a belief that he needed a massive financial cushion before he could leave.
Trapped by fear of what might happen if he bet on himself—and lost.
Doug had fallen into the same trap so many high-performers do: he confused being capable with being invincible. He held himself to an impossible standard—criticizing himself anytime he felt tired, doubting himself for procrastinating, and convincing himself that asking for help was a sign of weakness.
He wasn’t just burnt out.
He was stuck in survival mode.
And when you’re stuck in survival mode, you can’t dream. You can’t create. You can’t be fully present. You’re too busy scanning for danger. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Bracing for impact—whether it comes or not.
The Shift That Changed Everything
Over the course of our work together, we didn’t just focus on his business strategy or productivity habits—that would’ve been like rearranging deck chairs on a sinking ship.
Instead, we went deeper.
We unpacked the early life experiences that taught him to equate self-worth with performance.
We explored the inner dialogue that had been quietly running the show for years—always telling him he needed to do more, be more, prove more before he could finally rest.
We rewired those beliefs at the subconscious level through hypnosis.
We released years of pent-up emotion—shame, frustration, guilt.
We quieted the noise long enough for Doug to hear what his intuition had been whispering all along:
“You’re ready. You’re just scared.”
Once Doug could see his fear for what it was—not a stop sign, but a signal—he began to move differently.
He started taking bold, intentional action in his consulting business.
He said no to projects that weren’t aligned.
He doubled down on revenue-generating activity.
He stopped waiting for the perfect moment and started creating momentum.
Then, a few weeks later, he sent me a message I’ll never forget:
“I just put in my four-week notice.”
If you’re serious about taking your game to the next level - on and off the course - click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you plug your energy leaks and play to your potential.
On the Other Side of the Leap
Doug didn’t leave his job because he was 100% certain everything would work out.
He left because he finally believed he was capable of figuring it out—no matter what.
And that changed everything.
Today, Doug is running his business full-time. He wakes up without dread. He’s present with his wife. He’s excited to work with his clients. He’s sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and moving through his day with a calm, grounded confidence he hadn’t felt in years.
He still faces challenges, but they don’t rattle him the way they used to.
Why?
Because he no longer lets fear drive his decisions.
Because he’s built trust in himself.
Because he’s finally in alignment.
What This Has to Do With You (and Your Golf Game)
Doug’s story isn’t just about a career change.
It’s about reclaiming control. Rebuilding belief. Remembering who you are—beneath the pressure, the fear, and the story that says, “You have to keep grinding, no matter what.”
And maybe, that’s where you find yourself today—not in a toxic job, but in a different kind of stuck.
Stuck in the frustration of plateauing, despite investing hours in lessons, practice, and swing tweaks.
Stuck comparing yourself to better players, wondering why you still haven’t broken 90—or why breaking 80 still feels like a fluke instead of a standard.
Stuck in a loop of pressure, perfectionism, and performance anxiety that turns something you love into something that drains you.
You tell yourself the next round will be different.
That you’ll stay calm after the first bogey.
That this time, you won’t unravel after a three-putt.
But then the round starts.
You miss your first fairway.
Your tempo tightens.
Your self-talk spirals.
And just like that, your mind becomes your biggest hazard.
Here’s the truth: Doug’s patterns are your patterns—just playing out on a different stage.
He was paralyzed by fear of failure. So are you when you're standing over a must-make four-footer with shaky hands and a racing heart.
He procrastinated on what he really wanted. So do you, every time you say you’ll focus on the mental game… later.
He judged himself relentlessly, thinking he should be further along. And you do the same when you shoot 86 and call it a failure instead of progress.
Doug’s breakthrough didn’t happen when he learned something new.
It happened when he unlearned the mental and emotional habits that kept him stuck.
When he stopped trying to “fix” himself—and started trusting himself. When he stopped reacting—and started creating.
And that’s exactly what’s available to you.
Because the ability to break 80 or become a scratch golfer?
It’s not just in your swing.
It’s in your nervous system.
Your beliefs.
Your ability to stay composed under pressure. Your ability to bounce back after a mistake. Your ability to trust, refocus, and respond with intention instead of fear.
That’s what this work is about.
It’s not just about shooting lower scores.
It’s about quieting the noise in your head.
It’s about playing with presence and joy again.
It’s about walking down the fairway feeling calm, confident, and connected to your potential.
Doug’s transformation started the moment he decided he was done living from fear.
Yours can, too.
Doug’s Story Recap
Before Working With Me:
Daily anxiety and dread from a toxic job
Trapped in 70+ hour workweeks and two mortgages
Self-critical, overwhelmed, procrastinating
Fearful of betting on himself and leaving stability
Struggling to stay present or feel joy in the moment
Why He Worked With Me:
Craved clarity about what he really wanted
Needed courage to take a leap he’d delayed for years
Wanted to stop self-sabotaging and start showing up fully
Sought a way to feel in control again
What We Worked On and Reprogrammed
Uncovered and rewired deep-rooted fears around safety, worthiness, and failure
Released years of internalized pressure, perfectionism, and emotional suppression
Reprogrammed limiting beliefs tied to identity, income, and risk
Built emotional resiliency and capacity to hold both fear and possibility
Shifted from reactive, survival-mode thinking to grounded, intentional decision-making
Installed a new subconscious operating system rooted in trust, courage, and alignment
Results and Accomplishments:
Left his job and now runs his own thriving business
Dramatically reduced stress and anxiety
Built deep self-trust and mental resilience
Created a life and career that reflect his values
Rediscovered presence, clarity, and peace
Final Thought
If Doug’s story hit close to home… that’s no coincidence.
There’s a version of you—on the course or off—who is tired of overthinking every shot.
Tired of pretending you’re fine.
Tired of feeling stuck, burnt out, and unsure of what to do next.
That version of you is ready for more.
Let’s talk.
Click here to schedule a mindset coaching discovery call with me.
It might just be the first step that changes everything.
Let’s get you back in alignment—so you can finally feel free again.
Your Next Step
Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.
After reading today’s newsletter, I encourage you to take action and schedule a mindset coaching discovery call with me to learn how upgrading your mindset can have a positive ripple effect on every area of your life.
If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]
Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.
If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.
Until next time,
Paul
P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.
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