Hey Fellow Golfer - 

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?

Thank you.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter. 

And be sure to catch up on this week’s podcast episode:

• #105: My First Member-Guest Experience - A Recap

• #106: [Inside the Mind] Elliot Roe: Chasing Balance, Burning Dirty Fuel, and Overcoming Invisible Resistance

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me. 

False urgency is sneaky.

• It convinces you you’re being productive when, in reality, you’re just busy.

• It convinces you you’re being considerate (“I don’t want to hold anyone up”) when, in reality, you’re abandoning your process (and operating from fear of rejection and abandonment).

• It convinces you you’re moving faster toward your goals when, in reality, you’re leaking energy, making rushed decisions, and teaching your nervous system that speed matters more than presence.

That pattern isn’t just costing you strokes.

It’s costing you sales, connection, peace, and joy.

This is one of the most common destructive mindset programs I see in golfers and high-performing entrepreneurs: a subconscious compulsion to rush, to hurry, to get it over with. 

It looks like a pace-of-play problem. It’s actually an emotional-safety problem.

Let’s dismantle it.

In this newsletter, you’ll learn…

• What false urgency actually is (and why it feels so real in the moment).

• Why your subconscious keeps pushing you back into “go faster” mode even when you know better.

• How rushing shows up on the course, inside your business, and at home.

• The energetic and emotional cost of living in doing mode instead of being mode.

• Practical ways to slow down without feeling lazy, selfish, or behind.

• Why hypnosis and deeper mindset work are the fastest ways to unlearn this pattern.

Let’s tee off!

What False Urgency Really Is

False urgency is the feeling that something must be done right now… even when there is no real time pressure.

It’s your nervous system yelling “hurry!” when the situation is whispering “breathe.”

For golfers, it can sound or look like:

• “They’re waiting on me—I’ll just hit.” (even though they’re still getting out of the cart)

• Quick-walking to the ball, arriving tense, and swinging without a target

• Skipping your pre-shot routine on a tee shot because a group pulled up behind you

• Rushing the second shot after a bad first shot because you don’t want to “hold things up”

• Putting before you’ve fully read the break because “it’s just a par putt”

For entrepreneurs and business owners, it shows up as:

• Replying to emails and texts immediately because you don’t want to “look slow”

• Jumping on every opportunity—even the wrong ones—because you’re afraid of missing out

• Shipping a sales page, proposal, or offer before it’s clear, just to “get it out”

• Taking on a client you shouldn’t because they’re ready to pay today

• Filling every 15-minute gap with a task so you don’t have to be still

Here’s the key: false urgency is rarely about time.

It’s about avoiding discomfort.

You rush to:

• Avoid being watched

• Avoid being judged

• Avoid feeling like we’re behind

• Avoid sitting in the tension of “I don’t know yet”

• Avoid the vulnerability of taking up space

So you choose speed over presence, completion over quality, movement over clarity.

And because it sometimes “works” (you get the shot off, you send the email, you stay liked), your subconscious keeps running the program.

The Destructive Mindset Program Behind It

You heard me say this on the pod and in past newsletters: all destructive mindset programs follow the same pattern.

Trigger → Emotion → Words → Beliefs → Behaviors → Results → Identity

Rushing is just one version of that.

• Trigger: “People are watching,” “I hit a bad shot,” “I’m behind today,” “My client is waiting,” “My wife asked for one more thing,” “My kid is crying.”

• Emotion: tension, embarrassment, anxiety, fear of judgment, shame.

• Words: “Just hurry,” “Just get it over with,” “It’s fine,” “Doesn’t matter,” “I’ll fix it on the next one.”

• Belief: “I don’t have time to do it right,” “If I slow down, I’ll disappoint someone,” “If they see me taking my time, they’ll judge me,” “Speed is success.”

• Behavior: rushing the routine, skipping the breath, snap decisions, poor tempo, no reflection.

• Result: mis-hit, rework, regret, tension, snowball hole… or, in business, redoing tasks, apologizing, damage control.

• Identity: “I’m behind,” “I’m scattered,” “I can’t get over the hump.”

Learned = can be unlearned.

How it Shows Up on the Course

Let’s make this real.

You rush when:

• You feel the group behind you getting closer.

• You’ve just hit a bad shot and want to “fix it” immediately.

• You’re embarrassed and want to escape the scene (topped tee shot, chili-dip, chunked wedge).

• You’re playing with people you don’t know and don’t want to look high-maintenance.

• You’re carrying emotional residue from the last hole and don’t want to feel it.

What happens when you rush?

• You skip or shorten your pre-shot routine.

• You don’t fully commit to a target.

• Your breathing gets shallow.

• Your tempo gets quick.

• You swing without clarity.

And then—you prove yourself right:

• “See? I knew I shouldn’t take too long.”

• “See? I’m just not good under pressure.”

• “See? I always blow it.”

No. You didn’t “blow it.”

You abandoned your process.

This is why so many of you say to me, “Paul, I know what to do. I just don’t do it when it matters.” That’s not an information problem. That’s a subconscious, emotional-safety problem.

How it Shows Up In Your Business (or Career)

False urgency in business looks like:

• Responding to every email like it’s a fire.

• Saying yes to every meeting request because “they might refer me.”

• Shipping offers half-baked because you just want it out.

• Jumping from task to task to task… and then wondering why nothing is moving.

• Making quick decisions from anxiety instead of calm strategy.

• Working at 90 mph all day and then spending 90 minutes fixing what you rushed.

You call it “hustle.”

Your nervous system calls it “survival.”

Here’s the hard truth: Hustle done from anxiety is not productivity. It’s reactivity.

And reactivity is expensive.

It costs you:

• clean decision-making

• clarity on priorities

• creative thinking

• emotional presence with your team, spouse, or kids

• and eventually… health.

This is the same pattern as rushing a chip because the group behind you is watching – different arena, same program.

If you’re serious about taking your game to the next level - on and off the course - click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you plug your energy leaks and play to your potential.

How it Shows Up at Home

Let’s go there.

• You rush through conversations with your spouse—physically present, mentally on the back nine.

• You rush bedtime with your kids because your brain is already on email.

• You rush dinner because “I’ve got to get back to this proposal.”

• You rush your own recovery—sleep, breathwork, workouts—because being still feels unproductive.

But here’s the punch in the gut: When you live rushed, you never let yourself receive.

• No calm.

• No celebration.

• No integration.

• No intimacy.

You stay in doing mode because being mode would make you feel… vulnerable.

And vulnerability is exactly what your subconscious is trying to protect you from, yet, when you learn to embrace vulnerability, it becomes your superpower…

Why You Got Addicted to Speed in the First Place

This part matters.

A lot of us were rewarded for going fast.

• Fast test-taker? Praised.

• Finish your work early? Praised.

• Work more than everyone else? Praised.

• Always available? Praised.

You encoded: speed = love / approval / safety / belonging.

So now, decades later, slowing down on the tee box doesn’t just feel like “taking my time.”

It feels like:

• “They’ll think I’m high-maintenance.”

• “They’ll be annoyed.”

• “I’ll get in trouble.”

• “I’ll lose connection.”

That’s why you keep rushing even though you know it’s sabotaging you.

You’re not fighting logic. You’re fighting wiring.

The Real Cost of Living in Doing Mode

False urgency drains three things you absolutely need to play to your potential in golf and business:

Presence

• Rushing scatters your attention.

• Scattered attention = inconsistent execution.

Energy

• Living in fight-or-flight all day is like carrying a leaky bucket around the course.

• The faster you walk, the more water you spill.

• By Hole 14 (or 4 pm), you’re cooked.

Confidence

• When you keep abandoning your own process, you teach yourself: “I can’t be trusted to slow down.”

• Confidence is self-trust.

• If you can’t trust yourself to take one breath when it matters, how will you trust yourself over a 4-footer for par… or over a $40,000 decision in your company?

Being Mode versus Doing Mode

Let’s simplify.

Doing mode says:

• Go faster

• Check the box

• Get it off your plate

• Avoid discomfort

• Avoid judgment

• Next, next, next

Being mode says:

• Slow is smooth, smooth is strong

• One thing done with intention beats 10 things done frantically

• I don’t have to earn my right to breathe

• My value isn’t in my speed

• I can let this moment arrive fully

Golf is a being sport dressed up as a doing sport.

• You swing the club.

• You walk to the ball.

• You manage your yardages.

But the scoring advantage goes to the golfer who can be:

• be present

• be patient

• be regulated

• be okay being seen

Same in business.

A regulated entrepreneur builds better offers, leads better teams, and makes better money than an overcaffeinated firefighter bouncing between Slack messages.

Okay, Paul…How Do I Actually Slow Down?

Let’s get tactical.

1. One Non-Negotiable Breath

Before every shot, every putt, every sales call, every hard conversation:

• Inhale through your nose for four seconds

• Exhale through pursed lips for eight seconds

Tell your nervous system: “We’re safe.”

Long exhale = “I’m not being chased.”

2. Protect Your Pre-Shot Routine

This is your anchor.

• You don’t skip it because there’s a group behind you.

• You don’t skip it because you’re mad.

• You don’t skip it because you’re “running late.”

• You do it because you’re a golfer who plays to his potential.

3. Name the Emotion, Not the Excuse

• Instead of: “I just want to get this over with.”

• Try: “I feel embarrassed right now.”

• Once you name it, you don’t have to run from it.

4. Build a Daily Stillness Habit

• Meditation, breathwork, prayer, journaling.

• Do it first—before email, before Instagram, before you “earn it.”

• Starting the day in being mode makes it easier to access it on Hole 7.

5. Audit Where Else You Rush

Ask yourself:

• Where am I rushing at work?

• Where am I rushing in parenting or partnership?

• Where am I rushing in practice?

Patterns travel. If you fix it off the course, it’s 10x easier on the course.

Why Hypnosis Helps Here

Rushing (or operating with a sense of false urgency) is a subconscious pattern that formed to keep your needs met and to maintain safety.

You will not willpower your way out of it.

Hypnosis (and the way I do it with golfers and entrepreneurs) lets us go back to:

• when you learned speed = safety

• why being seen felt dangerous

• what belief got installed (“If I take up space, I get judged”)

• and how to upgrade it to match the identity of the player, parent, or business owner you actually are now

I’m obviously biased, but this is the fastest path I know to unlearning decades of rushing and replacing it with calm, committed presence.

If you’re tired of playing good-enough golf and running a good-enough business because you keep living in reactivity… let’s talk.

Click here to schedule a mindset coaching discovery call with me.

Final Thought

You don’t have a time problem. You have a safety problem.

You keep telling yourself, “Once things slow down, I’ll slow down.”

No.

You slow down, and then things slow down.

• The more you practice presence, the more capacity you create.

• The more capacity you create, the better you play.

• The better you play, the more you enjoy the game, your business, and your life.

Slow is smooth.

Smooth is strong.

Strong scores travel—on the card, in the P&L, and at home.

Click here to schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call and learn how to slow down so you can ultimately speed up — without sacrificing your edge.

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

After reading today’s newsletter, take a few minutes to be - to sit in stillness. Slowly. Presently. And then flow through the remainder of your day with more ease. 

If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.

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