Hey Fellow Golfer - 

Thank you for reading this week’s More Pars Than Bogeys Newsletter. If you find it valuable, could you forward this email to a fellow golfer?

Thank you.

You can click here to read the online version of this week’s newsletter. 

And be sure to catch up on this week’s podcast episode:

• #90: [Inside the Mind] Dr. Rick Sessinghaus: Resilience, Flow, Fear, and Harnessing the Dark Side

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on (and off) the course, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me. 

Think about the last time you asked for help in your career or business…

Chances are, you didn’t just hire the first consultant or coach who came along. 

You paused. 

You identified what was really holding you back, why it mattered, and where you needed help the most.

That clarity matters.

Because asking for help without knowing where you truly need it often leads to chasing surface-level fixes instead of solving the real problem.

Golf is no different. 

Most golfers default to asking for help with their swing or their mental game—thinking another swing tip or another mid-round focus trick will finally solve the frustration. 

But the truth is, neither addresses the root cause.

The real problem is your mindset. 

The destructive mindset programs running below the surface—fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, comparison—are what keep you stuck. 

Until you ask for help dismantling them, no amount of lessons or tips will create the breakthrough you’re after.

In today’s newsletter, you’ll learn…

• Why you fear asking for help—and how society wired you this way.

• How going at it alone slows your progress and drains your energy.

• The difference between asking for the wrong help versus the right help.

• The massive benefits of asking for help in the right place.

• Personal stories from my own journey that show why asking for help is always the shortcut.

• How mindset coaching can dismantle destructive programs and accelerate your results.

Let’s tee off!

(Psst…this podcast will help you understand the difference between mental game training and mindset training - click here to listen after you finish reading).

Why You Resist Asking for Help

The hesitation runs deep.

On the surface, it’s fear of judgment—you don’t want to be seen as weak or unprepared. 

Beneath that is fear of rejection—worry that your questions or struggles make you a burden. 

And beneath that still is fear of failure—if you ask for help and it doesn’t work, maybe you’ll confirm the belief that you’re “not good enough.”

Add to this the cultural conditioning we’ve all absorbed: “figure it out yourself,” “man up,” “don’t show weakness.” Independence is glorified. Asking for help is quietly equated with weakness.

So you grind harder, trying to “earn” your breakthrough alone. But toughness without results is just stubbornness.

Why Going It Alone Backfires

Going it alone feels like control, but really, it’s avoidance.

It’s easier to tinker with your swing on the range, blame the latest YouTube tip, or double down on effort than it is to confront the possibility that the real issue isn’t your swing at all—it’s your mindset.

But neuroscience tells us this strategy backfires. Every time you repeat the same flawed swing thought or destructive mindset loop, your brain reinforces that pattern. Neural pathways deepen. Inefficiency becomes automatic.

Research shows that external feedback—and the right kind of help—accelerates learning because it disrupts those loops and creates space for the brain to rewire. 

Which means that asking for help in the right place collapses time, saves energy, and accelerates results.

(mic drop…)

The Power of Asking for the Right Help

Take two golfers…

The Golfer Who Asks for the Wrong Help: He bounces from one swing coach to the next, each time believing this will be the fix. He works harder, gets temporary relief, but keeps running into the same roadblocks because his destructive mindset programs—fear of failure, perfectionism, comparison—are still running the show.

The Golfer Who Asks for the Right Help: He identifies the real problem—his mindset. He hires a mindset coach to help dismantle self-sabotage patterns, strengthen emotional resiliency, and rebuild confidence. Swing lessons become more effective. Practice becomes more intentional. He progresses faster, with less stress.

Which golfer are you?

And the same is true in business.

The Executive Who Asks for the Wrong Help: He spends thousands on new marketing tactics, chases the latest “productivity hack,” or hires and fires salespeople trying to force revenue growth. But because he hasn’t addressed the destructive mindset programs—fear of risk, lack of self-belief, or an invisible ceiling on success—nothing sticks. The business plateaus, and so does his confidence.

The Executive Who Asks for the Right Help: He recognizes that the bottleneck isn’t strategy—it’s mindset. He invests in coaching to dismantle limiting beliefs, rebuild confidence, and strengthen emotional resiliency. With that clarity, the strategies he already had in place suddenly start working. The business grows, his energy increases, and he leads with confidence instead of doubt.

The difference isn’t effort—it’s clarity about where help is needed most.

If you’re serious about taking your game to the next level - on and off the course - click here to apply to work with me and schedule a Mindset Coaching Discovery Call to learn how I can help you plug your energy leaks and play to your potential.

My Story of Asking for Help

I can tell you from experience that every time I’ve accelerated results in my life, it’s not only because I asked for help, but because I asked for help in the right place. 

It wasn’t always easy. 

I often clung to the same belief you might be holding onto now—that if I just worked harder, I could figure it out alone.

When I was playing poker professionally, I prided myself on outworking and outstudying everybody. I treated it like a business. I tracked every hand, reflected after each session, and worked relentlessly with a technical coach to master the math and strategy. 

But after six months of this grind, I was barely breaking even. I felt stuck, frustrated, and on the verge of quitting. 

That’s when I asked for help and hired my first mindset and performance coach. This was my first exposure to hypnosis—and the rest is history. That decision didn’t just change my poker game. It changed my entire life.

Years later, I found myself stuck again. 

For five years, I earned 90% of my income by coaching as part of a team. I coached hundreds of clients at a low price point I didn’t set, had 25% skimmed off the top, and—year after year—my income flatlined within $5,000 of the same number - despite working more and more. 

No matter how hard I worked, nothing changed. 

I was drowning…

So I made a scary decision: I invested a multi–five-figure amount of money (that I didn’t have) into business coaching. It was terrifying. But that investment taught me how to raise my prices, sell with confidence, and build a business model that didn’t burn me out. 

To this day, it continues to pay for itself over and over.

And that’s just two examples. 

Over the years, I’ve asked for help from:

• A golf-specific fitness coach to strengthen my body.

• A mindset and performance coach, and two mentors to push me deeper.

• Multiple swing coaches to sharpen my mechanics.

• A poker strategy coach during my competitive years.

• Individual and couple’s therapists to help me untangle patterns I couldn’t see on my own.

Every single one of these experiences revealed roadblocks I never could have uncovered alone. 

Some were visible—like flaws in my swing.  Others were invisible—like unconscious beliefs shaping how I showed up. Each provided clarity, growth, and breakthroughs that shaped who I am today.

The common denominator? 

Asking for help moved me forward faster. Always.

Final Thought

At some point, every golfer—and every person—has to face the truth: if nothing changes, nothing changes.

You can keep grinding on your own, chasing swing tips, and repeating the same frustrating patterns. Or you can ask for help, collapse time, and finally free yourself from the destructive mindset programs keeping you stuck.

Asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. 

It’s the fastest, most efficient way to conserve energy, accelerate progress, and play to your potential—on and off the course.

If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making the breakthroughs you know you’re capable of, click here to schedule your Mindset Coaching Discovery Call.

Let’s make playing to your potential a habit.

Your Next Step

Every newsletter will conclude with a suggested action step and further resources on the topic we discussed.

After reading today’s newsletter, think about the area of your life you feel most stuck - professionally, in your golf game, or in your marriage or relationship - and ask for help. 

If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thegolfhypnotherapist) or send me an email directly: [email protected]

Thank you for reading today’s newsletter.

If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow golfer ready to take their game to the next level.

Until next time,

Paul

P.S. What did you think of today’s newsletter? Reply back / drop a comment below to let me know.

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When you're ready, there are three ways I can help you:

1. Listen to The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast: Whether you’re an occasional amateur, a weekend regular, or a competitor seeking a tournament trophy or your pro card, this podcast will help you overcome the mental hazards of your mind to shoot more pars than bogeys. Start listening.
   

2. Download My “Play Your Best Round” Hypnosis Audio Recording: Let me help you lock in the level of focus, confidence, and clarity you need to create the mindset necessary to make your next round your best round. Download Your Free Hypnosis Audio.
   

3. 1-1 Mindset Coaching and Hypnotherapy for Golfers: I help golfers overcome the emotional and mental hazards of their minds to shoot lower scores (and have more fun) using hypnosis. Book a free Golf Mental Game Strategy Call Today.